Yeah, my kid watches TV...

Sigh.

At least its not crack, right? Oh wait... I forgot about Super Why... shit.

So yeah, I let my kid watch TV. Much to the dismay of pediatricians and childless acquaintances offering unsolicited advice the world over, I let it sneak up on me and now its a permanent fixture in our day to day schedule. Cat In the Hat means its time for milk, Super Why means its time to clean up the kitchen from breakfast, Martha Speaks means its time for lunch, and Calliou means its time to change the channel.

Which leads me to the inspiration for this post.

I frequent a mommy-centered forum often, and today a thread titled "What Kids Shows Do You Ban" popped up. Ban? People do this? I kinda scoffed, but I opened the thread anyways.(Never open the stupid threads, Brooke!) People banning Barney and Spongebob left and right, people banning Yo Gabba Gabba because it is "inappropriate." (obviously we don't ban it, have you seen my kids sweet dance moves?!) One mom that bans Sid the Science Kid because they have an episode on vaccines. One bans Sesame Street because a few characters use magic.

What?? Whatever. It's not that deep around here.

I get that some of these shows are super annoying, but I just kind of find it silly to ban an educational television show from your child simply because it is nettlesome. (Yup, learned that word on APT today WHAAAAAT!) If I banned every annoying show, my child would be stuck watching ice melt. So in the spirit of annoying children's television, may I present to you the

Brooke Dawson's List of the Top Five Shows I Would Ban But I'm Not Because I Think Banning Is Silly and I Wouldn't Be Able To Get Stuff Done Around the House Without These Shows On A Daily Basis Oh Yeah and My Son Is Fine the Pediatrician Said So Today List

(I know I said List twice, I feel if I repeat myself often it really drives my point home. Or something like that.)

#1- Calliou. That kid needs a time out or SOMETHING. STOP WHINING, KID!! Jeezewhattabrat.
#2- Thomas the Train. Bunch of smug-ass trains. I really don't see any point behind this show other than to drive parents to collect every train, track, pajama set, sippy cup, and tennis shoe that has Thomas on it for obsessed toddlers. Plus, each Thomas action figure is like, $15. It doesn't make any noise (wow- really? Am I actually complaining about that?), it doesn't transform into a bumblebee or a VW Bug- it freaking rolls around. It only rolls on an $80 track, may I add. Several different $80 tracks- you can't just have ONE. AND they're die-cast metal, so they hurt like a... like a lot if you step on them barefooted. I think I counted 80 trains to collect? NOPE. Man, apparently I dislike Thomas more than I thought I did.
#3- Super Why. Super SHUTTY! Yes, another great educational show- Sidney really enjoys it. He sings along with the theme, he does their little dance along with them, but JEEZE enough already with the "Power to READ" and "DICTIONARY POOWEEEER!" Those aren't real super powers. Don't even pretend like they are. Yes, reading is important, but its a hell of a lot easier to learn how to read than it is to learn how to ohh, say develop human echolocation or make yourself INVISIBLE. Do some investigating on super powers, APT. I'm not impressed.
#4- Max and Ruby. Luckily, we don't have to bother with this one much since we don't have cable, but Ruby.is.a.bossy.bitch. And where are their parents? I've never seen them! Did they run away or something? I'd probably run away if my daughter was Ruby, too.
#5- Three words, Fresh. Beat. Band. If you've seen it, you know I don't need to explain a thing.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen! The Brooke Dawson's List of yaddy yadda, I'm not typing that all out again, as I'm sure you don't want to read it all over again list. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I disenjoy each of these shows;)